08.31 Musings Part #3: The Most Precious Commodity (Time...)

Last week Ella came to us and said that she didn’t want to play soccer this year because she wanted to try things she probably won’t get to try again back home — like fencing and archery.  My initial reaction was “cool…great idea!”  But I have to admit that later that night I kicked into a bit of an overthinking mode re: the kids’ activities this year.  Back in Milton, we had hit a nice groove when it came to kid-activities.  If we were in Milton, this coming week would mark the start of piano lessons for all of the kids and a bit of practice (sometimes under duress) each day.  Jack would be playing tennis 3 times a week.  Ella would be playing soccer probably 3 days a week.  And so on down the age ranks.

I started thinking stuff like “whoa…Ella probably isn’t going to play any of ‘her sports’ this year (soccer/basketball/lacrosse)”…”sure, they sing and have recorder each day in school but none of the kids will be playing piano this year”…”Jack will only get a day a week of tennis and even then, he’ll miss a lot of week because of traveling”…”I wonder how far behind their peers they will be in these things when they get back and I hope it doesn’t impact their ability to keep playing the sports that they like”…”i hope they are going to plain ol’ get enough physical activity this year given that most of the activities offered by the school are a bit less ‘active’ — art club, robotics club, archery, etc…” And the grand-daddy question of them all “the time per week that people spend on each activity here is way different (nothing is more than an hour a week)…i hope the kids are going to be ok with all of the free time!”

Luckily, Audrey was there to talk me off the proverbial ledge.  As she pointed out “First off…they are trying new things.  That was the point of this year.  Secondly — we have never had this much time with the kids.  They have never had this much time to bond with each OTHER.  And none of us will ever have this much bonding time again.  Ten years from now, we are going to look back on this and be forever thankful that we had that TIME with them…and we sure as hell aren’t going to care whether they had 10 months with less exercise than they used to get in Milton or whether this time may influence them to change course when it comes to extracurriculars.”

Making salt dough...

Back when Jack was a baby, I remember Audrey and I first uttering the cliché “they seem to grow up so fast” refrain while visiting my parents.  My mom (I’d call her a “wise old woman” but she’d kill me so I’ll call her a “Wise Relatively-Young-Or-At-The-Very-Least-Young-At-Heart Woman”) said something that has always stuck with us — “It’s tough sometimes to remember that you don’t own them…they are only on loan to you.”   

Ella found some eyeblack in her lacrosse bag...

Making dinner (can't remember the kids helping us cook this much at home!)

One of our hopes and goals coming into this year was to take full advantage of a slower pace and to make the MOST of a chunk of that time that the kids “are on loan” to both us and to each other.  I lost sight of that goal for a bit.  But we are definitely doing our best in this area.  And it’s not just our day trips and getaways to explore the country (not that those haven’t been great ways to spend time as a family).  Day to day we have had more TIME as a family, too.  One-on-one walks around the mountain roads.  Playing cards and hanging out more than watching TV.  Stopping at Pops for ice cream after Jack’s tennis lesson.  Cooking and cleaning (without a dishwasher and with a relatively small kitchen that will attract mice if we don’t keep it clean…cleaning as a family takes on a whole new level of importance).  Even the extent to which the kids PLAY together.

Charlie and Jack tasting a bit of coffee at the Café Britt Coffee Tour yesterday (about 20 minutes from the house).

After dinner tonight, Audrey and I had some other project-stuff to do around the house...the four kiddos took care of washing and drying the dishes (I snuck up behind them and took this pic). : )

Packaging up these images and memories serves as a powerful reminder of the overwhelmingly positive tradeoff we are making.  Our kids aren’t going to be professional athletes and piano at Carnegie Hall isn’t in any of their futures.  A sidestep off the straight and narrow path of their past activities doesn’t mean squat in the grand scheme of who they will be in life longterm.  But the memories made, the bonds built, and the lessons learned this year surely will.